Spicing up Life
by georgiasf
Summary: Bella wants a little more spice in her love life. She slips a little vodka in her water bottle before Edward picks her up. But what happens when she drinks too much and gets drunk, right in front of Edward? Rated M for underage drinking and sexual themes


**Hello Everybody! This is a crackfic/too much sugar fic that me and my friend thought of. Pretty much Bella just wants to make life a little more interesting one night. Rated M for sexual themes and underage drinking. No lemons. Enjoy!**

* * *

She picked up the phone and dialed his number. He answered it after the first ring.

"Good evening, love," Edward Cullen said softly.

"Hey, honey," Bella Swan replied. She chewed on her pinky fingernail, a nervous habit of hers that she wanted to break, but couldn't bring herself to do. "Charlie has the night shift tonight and I was wondering…" She hesitated, not knowing how to put a "hot and steamy make-out session in the back of your Volvo while I am slightly under the influence" into words that a traditional man like him would accept.

"Yes?" he asked.

"I want to have an intimate night with you. No sex, just…kissing," she finally admitted.

A moment passed. "My couch or yours?" he growled seductively. She was surprised that he would go along with it so quickly, with his boundaries in place. She wanted to pass them tonight, though.

She giggled. "I was actually thinking in the back of your Volvo. Not in my driveway though, just in case Charlie passes by. And in your driveway, with everyone's heightened senses, would be embarrassing."

Another moment passed this time. "What about behind the grocery store?" he suggested.

"Great! Pick me up in ten?"

"Sure, honey. I love you,"

"Love you, too!" She hung up the phone excitedly. _I cannot believe this is actually going to work!_ she thought.

She had it all planned out, thanks to the internet. She would take a plastic water bottle, fill it up almost all the way with water, then put a splash of her father's vodka in it. She figured that since it was clear, Edward wouldn't notice the sight of it. And the internet taught her that vodka is hard to smell on her breath, so hopefully he wouldn't smell it. But with his enhanced senses, he might. _But it'd be too late anyway, ha ha!_

She ran into the kitchen to grab her plastic bottle and dashed to the sink to fill it up. Bella turned the faucet off right after the water reached the part of the bottle where it curved upward. She looked around nervously. She knew no one was home and no one could see in her kitchen window, especially at 7:45 at night, but she was still anxious. She bent down under the counter and opened the cabinet door where Charlie keeps his other alcoholic drinks in. She took the clear, half full, jug of vodka out of the cupboard gingerly, taking note of how and where it was placed.

Bella stood up slowly, still checking her surroundings. She slowly twisted the cap off. _This is it, I suppose._ She comforted herself in her mind, telling herself that she won't be rushed to the hospital, develop some kind of cancer or, more importantly, her dad wouldn't find out. She tipped it a little on the edge of her bottle and poured it ever so slightly that a splash of vodka escaped into her water bottle.

She quickly leaned the container back and wiped off the little bit that slipped with a paper towel. She placed it carefully back where it was before, making sure it looked like nobody touched it. Bella took the water bottle and walked over to the sink to fill it up some more. She stopped the faucet and shook up the bottle. It fizzed a little, but other than that it looked like a regular bottle of water. She unscrewed the cap and sniffed it. It had a small smell of alcohol. She quickly came up with the idea that she'd just have to be quick when she drank it.

Bella took a small sip of it. _Tastes like tart water. Oh well._ She suddenly breathed on her hand and smelled it. She couldn't really detect anything. _Let's hope the random people on the internet are right._

The doorbell rang. She swiftly downed another swig and shook the bottle some more before answering the door.

The porch light is motion sensored so when she opened up the door, her boyfriend looked like an angel with the yellow light all around him. Bella leaned against the door frame and sighed admirably at him. Edward chuckled.

"Why do you have to be so perfect, while I'm so…dull?" she questioned. He chuckled again and wrapped his arms around her. She looked up at him and he smiled his crooked smile down at her and gave her a small kiss.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

Gripping her water bottle, Bella said yes. Edward noticed the motion.

"Why do you have the water bottle?" he inquired.

"Oh, um, my throat has been feeling weird so I have it just in case I start coughing or it feels dry," Bella answered hastily. Edward shrugged and took her empty hand. She shut the door and walked over to the passenger side of the Volvo and got in. He started the car and headed towards the grocery store. She took a few more drinks of it and could feel the effects already.

"You know, we could still have privacy in your bed or on your couch," Edward brought up when they were half way there.

"Yeah but we always pick the couch or the bed. I figured we needed a different location. Plus my truck seats are uncomfortable and your seats…" She wiggled down in the passenger seat, like a little kid getting ready to go on his first roller coaster ride. "…are very relaxing," She looked up at him and smiled and he looked down at her. Confusion crossed his face for a split second, which Bella caught, then smiled at her and turned his attention back to the road.

He turned into the brightly lit parking lot and drove towards the dark side of the store, and parked near the building. Nobody could see them from back there because there was the brick wall of the store and the brick wall of the video store on either side of them and a hill in front of them.

Edward was opening Bella's door before she even became unbuckled. She took another drink from the bottle and moved it to the cup holder on the back of the arm rest. She got out and they both crawled to the back, with Edward behind the driver's seat and Bella behind her seat. He brushed her hair out of her face and slowly kissed her cheek then her lips. She got into the kiss before he leaned back.

"What? What's wrong?" she asked, a little upset.

"Bella, are you sure there's _just_ water in that bottle?" Edward looked over to where it sat then back to her.

"Psh, of course, why would you think there's something else in it?" She grabbed it and swallowed a big drink out of it. She made a refreshed 'ah' sound and placed it back in the cup holder.

She pushed him down on the seat and started attacking him with kisses. He happily obliged, kissing back with as much force as he could give a human. He started kissing her neck and she giggled like a maniac, something she never did when he kissed her neck.

"Bella, are you okay?" he asked, half laughing with her.

"Of course, silly. Why wouldn't I be?" She sat up quickly, ignored the swimming feeling in her head, and grabbed another swig from her bottle and leaned back down on her boyfriend and started kissing all over his shoulders, neck and head, purposely avoiding the mouth.

"Bella, what is in that bottle?" Edward asked, more concerned now. He pushed her up so that her mouth was not in kissing distance of his upper torso.

"Just some water…and some fun!" she cried out. She kissed him passionately and he kissed back just as passionately. He wrapped his arms around her neck, bringing her in. They started to incorporate tongues and she moved away from his mouth, licking his cheek and down to his ear, nibbling on it. "I know you want me, right here, right now," she whispered.

She moved back to his mouth and started to undo the buttons on his polo shirt with one hand while continuing to kiss him. Bella suddenly felt something hard on her thigh. She leaned up and sniggered with an evil grin on her face. Edward looked half embarrassed, half horny.

She slowly made her hand down his chest, to his pants, never breaking eye contact, while grabbing his hard thing that wasn't a cell phone.

"I told you so," she whispered sexily. She started to rub it and then she was on her back and Edward was on top of her. "I love how you did that!" she exclaimed breathlessly.

"Did what?" Edward asked seductively. "Flip you over or…" They looked down at his erection poking through his slacks.

"Both!" She grabbed her bottle and took two more swallows, spilling some on her cheek. She tried to wipe it up with her finger but Edward was faster. He sniffed it then tasted it. His face twisted in disgust for a second and his body shivered. Bella took that as a motion to move on and she grabbed his hair and pulled him on top of her, kissing more passionately and sloppily than before. He pushed up off of her a few seconds later and gave her a stern look.

"Bella, that's not water in your drink. What is it?" he asked in a firm tone. Bella giggled some more.

"You're killing the mood, baby," she responded and moved to kiss him again and was disappointed when he pushed himself up more. "The mood that I set up for us," She started to quibble her bottom lip.

"How did you set up this mood?" he asked more gently.

"I just borrowed some of Ch-Charlie's vodka or something like that and-and...I wanted to have fun!" She gave a short, sad laugh then the tears came. Edward wiped them away.

"Aw, don't cry Bella. Do you still want to have fun?" She nodded and he reluctantly handed the bottle back to her. She took it eagerly and swallowed some more.

Edward really didn't approve of it, but he didn't want to awkwardly drive her back home and have her be mad at him the next day. He took it again and set the almost empty bottle back in the cup holder. He kissed the water-vodka mixture that slipped on Bella's cheek again and shivered at the awful taste once more, making his reproductive system kick in.

Bella laughed and grabbed it again, squeezing it like a stress reliever, knowing that it wouldn't hurt him. They became more passionate, rubbing each other's personal spaces and kissing like they never had before. Edward tried not to breathe in her intoxicated breath but he was delighted that they were having one of their best make-out sessions ever.

She let out euphoric shrills a few times and he let out deep moans and growls. He told himself no sex until marriage and he is sticking to that, no matter how much she tries to pull his pants down and how much he cups her perfectly sculpted-

There were a few short taps at the window. A flash light quickly shined through the front and back seats. They looked at each other with fear in their eyes. "Excuse me, please step out of the vehicle," a stern male voice said.

"No…" Bella whispered. She knew that voice. Edward sat up and pulled her up too. He opened the door and tenderly pulled her out, gripping her hand so hard he almost broke it. She pushed his hand off and looked at the ground, wringing her hands behind her back.

"Bella!" her father exclaimed in shock. She looked up at him and he was glaring at Edward. Charlie looked murderous and Edward looked…well like a teenage guy who got busted by her drunk girlfriend's father, who just so happened to be a police officer.

"No, dad! It's not his fault! It was all my idea," Bella stammered.

"Bella, you don't have to…" Edward cautiously whispered. She stumbled forward and her father caught her by her forearm. He glared again at Edward.

"Daddy, please please don't arrest him. He's too cute to be in jail," She giggled again and walked back towards her boyfriend when her dad pulled her back by her arm. He pulled out a small flashlight and shined it in her eyes, which she quickly covered up. "Ugh, Daddy! Why do you think we pulled into the dark!?"

Edward still stood next to his car, actually scared of a human. He wasn't really scared _of_ him but of what he might do to their relationship. True, she was eighteen now, but the drinking age is twenty-one and her father still hadn't forgiven him for the first semester of her senior year.

"Bella I'm going to have to give you a field sobriety test," Her dad sounded more like a father than a police officer. "So, I'm going to need you to blow on this." He turned his torso to look for a breathalyzer on his belt and Bella stumbled back to Edward. She grabbed him by the shoulder and he steadied her.

"Shhure I'll blow on this hunk uh meat for yah, Daddy!" She laughed and started to kiss Edward's neck. He tried to push her away, but she grunted like a stubborn child and continued to attempt to kiss him.

"Isabella Swan," Charlie said fiercely. Bella sighed and tripped back to her father. He had the breathalyzer in hand and she blew into it then giggled again when she was done. He read the meter on it.

"Her B.A.C. is zero point zero three five," He shot daggers at her boyfriend again. He held his hands up in an innocent way.

"Chief Swan, I did not give Bella any alcohol," Edward firmly stated, staring straight into the police officer's eyes. He walked over to him.

"Have you had anything to drink, young man? Please blow on the breathalyzer," Edward did as he was told and it came up clean. "Okay, you're good," He glowered at him again, hoping that he could give him a fine for drinking but was disappointed when he turned out sober. The Chief walked back over to his intoxicated daughter. "Bella, sweetie, can you stand on one leg for me?" he asked in a soft but stern tone.

"Shure thing, Daddy-o," she slurred. She lifted one foot off the ground and almost fell over. Both men rushed to catch her, but when Edward showed up Charlie gave him a look that said 'I got this' and he backed off. She started laughing hysterically. Edward had to stifle his grin from her father.

"Okay, Bella, can you walk in a straight line for me please?" Charlie asked, more worried than professional.

She scoffed. "Of course!" She started to stumble away from them, her trail curving. She turned back around and swaged to the Volvo. The door was still open so she tripped inside of it and groaned as her shins ached. She looked up and got her almost empty water bottle from the cup holder. Bella hoisted herself up from the back seat and walked back outside, drink in hand. "See, this is it officer!" She chugged the rest of it, despite the "No!" that came from Edward and the "_Isabella!"_ from her father and threw it at Charlie. It only landed a few feet in front of her, though.

She made another 'ah' sound, proud that she finished off the vodka. "Yes!" She threw her hands up in the air then they landed on her head. "Ow…my head" She spun around a little then collapsed on the side of the Volvo.

* * *

"Bella, honey, are you awake?" a male voice asked her.

"Edward…?" she mumbled.

The voice grunted then said "No, it's your father,"

"Oh shi…" She grabbed a pillow and covered her embarrassed face with it.

"Bella, do you remember anything from last night?" he asked her gently. She tried to recall what happened.

"I…Edward picked me up, then we…" She giggled then smiled under her pillow. She definitely remembered the make out session, and then it faded after she started to tear up. She couldn't tell her father that her boyfriend had an erection. "Yeah, most of it, I think,"

"Bella, you were drinking and then you passed out when I caught you with…Edward." He spat the name out. She took the pillow off her face. She was tucked into her bed and the sun was about half way up in the sky. Her father had a glass of water and some pills in his hands. "Here, take these, they'll help." She took the pills from him and swallowed half of the glass of water. "From what _he_ told me, you snuck some of my vodka into a bottle of water and drank it so you two could…ugh I asked him to stop at that point. After you passed out I took you home in my cruiser and I tucked you into bed. He and I had a…discussion downstairs and after he insisted that he had no influence whatsoever on your decision to drink, I banned him from the house until further notice and I've decided on a punishment for you,"

Bella groaned and put the pillow back over her face. "I'm sorry, Dad," she mumbled through the pillow. "I just wanted a change from the normal and I thought that alcohol would help us…progress further,"

"I'm letting you off with a warning, Bells" _Wait, what?!_

"What?!" She took the pillow off her face and sat up, too quickly that she had to ease herself back down.

"I was your age once too, Bells. I know what it's like to want to…change the ordinary sometimes. I'm not pressing charges like I should for underage drinking, only because you're my daughter and I know that you won't do it again," He smiled at her and she smiled back at him. _Yes!_

* * *

The next day she was at Newton's. She hadn't spoken to Edward since that night, too embarrassed to talk him again after she was drunk. She did slip off into a daydream mode a few times when the store was empty, reliving what she could remember of that night. Mike noticed it when she didn't automatically reply to his questions. Thankfully it only stayed between her, Edward and Charlie, unlike most small town events.

She heard the bell ring at the front door so she stood up tentatively, like a good employee, and started messing with the freebies on the counter.

"Hm, I think I need some new hiking boots, but I don't know what brand to get…" Bella straightened up immediately at the sound of his voice. Mike groaned and mumbled that he was going on his lunch break and left Bella and Edward alone in the store.

She rushed from behind the counter and hugged him tightly. He laughed a little then kissed the top of her head. "Hey, how come I haven't heard from you since the other night?" he asked. She snuggled her face into his chest.

"Promise you won't laugh?" she hesitantly asked.

"Promise."

"I…I didn't want to talk to you because…I thought you might…I don't know…laugh at me or lecture me or break-" He silenced her with a kiss.

"Bella…"A few moments passed. He sighed. "Love, why would I mock you? I'm sure Charlie did all the lecturing and I wouldn't leave you just because you wanted a little more…spice in your love life. I'm not going to say that I'm disappointed in you because, well…" He looked somewhat embarrassed to finish his sentence.

"Because you had fun too," She finished for him. She giggled a little then placed her had right above his jeans and slowly slid her hand down his jeans.

He took her hand out before it went too far and kissed it. "I think you should get back to work. When do you get off?" Edward raised his eyebrows suggestively. Bella giggled, again.

* * *

**B.A.C.=Blood Alcohol Content/Concentration. I don't know what the laws are in Washington, but in my state the Field Sobriety Test is doing the flashlight in the eyes thing, standing on one leg and walking in a straight line, plus the breathalyzer. Good thing my friend checked it because her BAC was originally 0.35 and my friend was like "You know if her BAC was 0.35 she'd be in the hospital or near death, right?" And I was like "ohshit" and changed it.**

**The thing about Vodka not being able to detect on your breath is one of those internet war things, like determining if pictures are real or fake. Some people say "yes, it does smell because it's alcohol" others say "depends on your body chemistry and how much of it you've had to drink". So don't take my word for it if you want a "hot and steamy makeout session" in the back of your boyfriend/girlfriend's car!**

**Review if you're not drunk please!**


End file.
